


I Don't Care If I Ever Get Back (well, maybe I do)

by VasilisaHart (Aquathief)



Series: Portals 'verse-Oneshots, drabbles, and ficlets [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Baseball game, He's not really in this oneshot, Kiss cam, Multi, No I didn't forget Bruce, Relationships are shoved into existence, Thor needs to stop with the kettle corn, who knows how they got to Colorado so quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 14:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1513742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aquathief/pseuds/VasilisaHart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team goes to a baseball game, and everything is a disaster. Tony roots for the losing team and passes out, Thor eats 6 1/2 child-sized bags of kettle corn, Steve and Bucky are a gay not-a-couple couple, and the girls are never doing this again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Care If I Ever Get Back (well, maybe I do)

**Author's Note:**

> Cowritten with my friend Autumn, who doesn't have an Ao3 account.  
> We went to a baseball game, and were inspired to write this. Post-TWS, but fits in anywhere there.

I Don't Care if I Never Get Back (well, maybe I do)- A SoAR oneshot

"And why'd you invite him?" Natasha grumbled towards Bucky, who was sitting uncomfortably close to Steve, clinging to a bag of Cracker Jack.  
"For the last time, he's reformed! Plus, we can't leave Steve's boyfriend behind." Stella answered, as Steve's face erupted into an array of reds.  
"He's not my boyfriend." he mumbled, staring at the bus's floor to make his blush less obvious.  
Artemis peeked down from the top deck. "Steve honey, you know we still love you no matter which way you swing."  
"And sorry babe, but you swing hard that way." Stella snarked. With this comment, Bucky's glare could have killed.  
The bus turned a corner sharply, precariously leaning to the right. This caused everyone on the top deck to come streaming down to the enclosed bottom. "Tony, are you completly sure you know how to drive this bus?" Rayna yelled to the driver's nook in the front.  
"Of course! Sure, I stopped driving after I got my license because I had personal chauffers but I know how!" At this statement, he ran past a red light into the parking lot for Coors Field.  
"WE'RE HERE!" He screamed, jolting  
to a stop in front of the parking attendant, who he tossed some cash and a note at before taking off again.  
"And he wonders why we made him install seat belts in here." Artemis commented dryly.  
"Thor, give me your hammer..." Stella growled, glaring at the philanthropist jogging towards the stadium. They had parked diagonally across 3 parking spaces, and people were beginning to stare at the overexcited billionaire wearing a ridiculous amount of Rockies memorabilia.  
\---------------------------------------------------  
"We're having Natasha drive us home." Rayna commented, glaring at her boyfriend, who was happily eating a hot dog.  
"I'm gonna skin him alive." Stella muttered, rubbing the area where she fell on her backside. He had shoved her out of the way in a rush to sit down before the game began.  
Over the loudspeakers, a deep male voice announced the beginning of the game. The Giants were at bat first, and Tony almost dropped his precious food when snapping forward to watch the game.  
"Never mind. We're never taking him to another baseball game, period." Rayna sighed, righting the drink he had overturned in his excitement.  
The others nodded in silent agreement, noting that Bucky had again leaned close enough to Steve to discontinue any thoughts about either of them being straight.  
"You sure you swing straight, Cap?" Stella asked. "Personally, I think you swing as straight as that guy there." she continued, pointing to the batter who had swung crookedly and missed the ball by a mile. In response, Bucky crumpled up his now empty bag of Cracker Jack and chucked it at her. She dodged, and the bag caught an unaware Thor in the face.  
"Why does thou strike the son of Odin with your Crackers of Jack?!" Thor bellowed, his height easily shadowing Bucky. Steve came to his rescue by calming the viking god with an emergency Pop Tart from his bag, and sending a scowl to a smirking Stella.  
The end of the 1st inning was announced, with the Rockies winning by a 0-2 lead. Tony was even more peppy than before, and Loki was sitting with a slight smirk on his face. Only Artemis noticed his hands glowing faintly.  
"You wouldn't dare." she whispered.  
"Oh yes I would. Besides, Stark will be insufferable either way the game goes." he said back, quiet enough that it went unnoticed by the others, lost in the noise of the stadium.  
\---------------------------------------------------  
"Tony, this is ridiculous. It's barely the 3rd inning and you've already drank enough to fill Thor's giant bag of kettle corn." Clint complained, gesturing to the child sized (literally the size of a child) bag Thor was grinding away at. After about two innings, he had gone downstairs and returned with a oversized bag of kettle corn, which he kept away from everyone else.  
"But we're loosssinnggg...." Tony slurred, clinging to his beer.  
"I seriously think Bruce should have come. He's the only one that Tony takes a warning to stop drinking from." Natasha commented.  
"And risk destroying the entire stadium?" Clint answered. "I think not." Just at that moment Dinger, the mascot of the Colorado Rockies, walked onto the field.  
"Why is a bilgesnipe on the field?!" Thor called out.  
Rayna facepalmed. "That's a triceratops, Thor. Remember our conversation about dinosaurs? I know you do Stella." she commented, noticing the absense of the blonde shapeshifter at the last moment. "Stella?"  
On the field, the stupid mid-inning advertising campaign for a dental agency, which had a toothbrush, tube of toothpaste, and tooth racing across the field, was falling to chaos as the toothbrush had tripped over a serene Stella, who had teleported straight in his path in a Buddha-like pose. The cameras trained on her, and she smiled cheerfully, before disappearing again, and reappearing on Steve's lap.  
"So, how's the game been so far?" She smiled seductively, leaning close to his face. At that moment, Bucky decided to stretch his arm out, effectively knocking off Stella from Steve's lap.  
"Hands off." he commanded, garnering snickers from Artemis and Rayna.  
"So not gay." Stella muttered sarcastically. Bucky snapped his arm out again, effectively tripping her.  
"I heard that."  
\---------------------------------------------------  
The game went on, and through Loki's slight manipulations, the Giants were slowly taking the lead. Tony was on the verge of sobbing, but held himself together with a glass of scotch.  
While the Giants were hitting, small welcome messages appeared on the jumbotron. Different parts of the stadium grew louder as tons of school groups saw their school's name appear.  
After 5 minutes of that, one last message showed up: THE ROCKIES WELCOME THE AVENGERS! The play ended, and the camera cut to their box on the second floor. Stella flipped upside down, floating mid-air and flashing peace signs, Tony rose his glass in solodarity tears streaming down his face, Natasha and Clint stared blankly, and Thor held his fifth child of kettle corn up in victory. Rayna sat close to the front, rolling her eyes. The only Avengers to not be seen were Artemis, Loki and the resident gays, who thought it wise to slip out of sight. Thankfully, both tricksters knew of this and threw them forward into the camera light.  
They sat in these positions, while the  
fans screamed in realization and excitement. Eventually, the game resumed, but throughout the game, the screen occasionally switched to them.  
At one point, the mood switched, and the kiss cam turned on. Varying couples were nearly forced into kisses by the crowd around them, and after a cute brunette and her boyfriend kissed, the camera cut to the Avenger's box, specifically the resident gay not-a-couple.  
Steve and Bucky just stared in shock, as a chant of "KISS KISS KISS KISS" broke out through the whole stadium. Even Stella was egging them on. Finally, they kissed, albeit a bit awkwardly. The stadium erupted into applause, which tailgaters outside the stadium reported hearing loud and clear.  
The entire team broke into applause, and Rayna leaned over, and whispered, "No homo?" Stella leaned over on their other side and added in,  
"Oh, they're definetly homo." At that, both got sour faces from the new couple silently holding hands.  
\---------------------------------------------------  
Bruce sat behind his laptop, staring disbelievingly at the video in front of him. He had logged onto YouTube to find a video he liked, only to find the first video on the home screen. It was labelled "Stucky is Canon?" and featured a recording of Steve and Bucky. Kissing. In public.  
Almost immediatly, he called Tony. He picked up after letting the phone ring for nearly a minute. "Tony-"  
"Yes, they're definetly homo." Tony groaned. "Goodbye."  
\---------------------------------------------------  
While the game was unwinding into an obvious overtime, the avengers slowly dissappitated into lazy slobs. Tony had passed out first from his drunken state, while Thor followed closely along with Stella from sugar highs. Even while passed out, he was clinging to bag #7 of kettle corn.  
Artemis and Loki were in the back, watching the game on a little TV and snickering over the little manipulations he was causing. She took a swig of a can of Mike's Har Lemonade before speaking. "Okay, this had better go into at least 2 innings of overtime. Just think of the rage Tony's going to be in when he wakes up."  
"That is, if he wakes up." Loki joked, but then snapped back to focusing on the game.  
Natasha and Clint had left long before, growing impatient with the antics of the rest. Rayna had willingly teleported them back to the tower, returning only to be the designated driver, as she was the only one who hadn't drank anything, wasn't passed out, and wasn't distracted, like Bucky and Steve were. "No homo, my ass." Rayna muttered.  
The game lasted until the 11th inning, where the Giants got 4 runs and bypassed the Rockies. Even after the game ended, they stayed in the box until security informed them most everyone was gone. Not wishing to be mobbed by fans, Artemis and Loki teleported the passed-out people onto the top deck of the bus; maybe the fresh air would wake them up. Or maybe the fact that they weren't strapped in would. Either way, it would be funny.  
Steve, Bucky, Clint, Nat, and Rayna left normally, reaching the bus with only one disturbance. They had been stopped by a woman with a little girl, who was a big fan of theirs. They all signed Avalyn's shirt, and took a couple pictures, before escaping to the bus. Rayna took the wheel, and took off from the parking lot.  
Halfway home, she had to jolt to a stop at a light, and the commotion following was insane. Tony was cursing his head off, Thor had realized his kettle corn was gone and also started yelling, and Stella had teleported downstairs. "You motherfuckers." She then teleported out, presumably back to the tower.  
"Why hast thou taken my kettle corn?!" Thor thundered(lol) as he stormed(lol part 2) down to the main level of the bus. Tony followed, only to flop down on a seat and check the scores from the game. He then erupted into screams of outrage, and the rest of the ride was spent with two over grown children crying and the Avengers with maturity cringing in anguish.  
It was then decided that baseball games were forever out of the question.  
FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! (Also, the little fangirl was Autumn's sister Avalyn.)


End file.
